Posts tagged ‘joke article’

March 19, 2013

Baby Glendon Turns 30

March 19th, 2013 -San Diego, California

Glendon Romett, known as baby Glendon, turned 30 on March 15th this year. The anticipation for turning 30 was very high. In the days he was still in his late 20’s, he was showing uneasy and pensive feelings and told his girlfriend “I feel like 12” multiple times a week. And he kept changing the name of his music project from Balloons Guy to Balloons to BLLNZ to Recycled Dolphin. Recycled Dolphin is an current official name. “Most men feel like 12-year-old forever, so sometimes men have hard time coping with aging,” Dr. Jordan Peterpan Hammond says. On his birthday, Glendon seemed to be relieved and happy. He ordered a pizza and calzone from Pizzeria Luigi, and gave a fat tip to a delivery guy, and had a relaxing night with his close friends and girlfriend.

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General public doesn’t know, but Baby Glendon is a prolific musician. He has been involved in many music projects such as Primitive Noyes, Bruisecaster, Space Chainsaw, and Paper Forest. Recycled Dolphin is his solo project he started to reflect his own ideas more in the music. He started playing drums when he was 12 years old back in Philadelphia. Music is his passion. And he is still going strong even though condescending Bill O’Reilly-type ex co-workers and conservative relatives with shallow perspective they got from watching too much bullshit on TV or something don’t value music and culture when it does not make money.

However Baby Glendon succeeded in surrounding himself with creative and supportive friends in San Diego. He also started Eagles Nest Production, a video production company, and the company produced over 100 videos since it started in 2012. He is currently learning Flash, animation software, and looking to become a multimedia artist.

“Life with passion and OK money is so much better and healthier than life with too much money but no real passion. Sometimes rich people realize that they are rich but they are not going anywhere. A pursuit of material wealth empties people out, make them unable to think profoundly and critically in favor of becoming an ‘economic animal.’ But creative people tend to keep their eyes open and keep learning. They embrace life better and become wiser as they age,” Dr. Hammond says.

http://primitivenoyes.bandcamp.com/

http://balloonsguy.bandcamp.com/

Bruisecaster film

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March 17, 2013

Mike Groves Falls Asleep In The Middle Of Conversation He Was Having With Brian Ellis マイク・グローブス、ブライアン・エリスとの会話の真っ最中に眠りに落ちる

March 17th, 2013 -San Diego, California

Mike Groves of The Sound Grove falls asleep in the middle of the conversation he was having with his best friend Brian Ellis. At the time he was holding a pink heart-shaped cushion.

ザ・サウンド・グローブのマイク・グローブスが親友ブライアン・エリスとの会話の真最中に眠りに落ちました。当時彼はピンクのハート型のクッションを抱いていました。

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Brian Ellis says he does not remember what they were talking about when it happened. “Then I started putting things around him,” Ellis says. The things he placed around Groves included a basketball, hat, high heels and a Nintendo 64 controller. An expert says it is universally really hard for people to not mess with their best friends when they are passed out so defenselessly on a couch. Things like writing something on someone’s face with a sharpie is a very typical act.

ブライアン・エリスは、それが起こった時に話していた話題が何だったかは覚えていない。「それからマイクの周りにいろんなものを置き始めたんだ」と彼は語る。グローブス氏の周りに置かれたものは、バスケットボール、帽子、ハイヒール、任天堂64のコントローラーなどを含む。親友がソファで無防備に眠り込んでいるところを目撃しながら何もいたずらをしないというのは、全人類に共通して難しいことである、と専門家は言う。マーカーで顔に落書きをするといったようなのは典型的なケースだ。

Groves has fallen asleep in Tokyo subway and lost track of time earlier this year as well. He also experienced sleep paralysis when he was a child. But sleep researchers say there is no clear relativity between sleep paralysis and falling asleep in the middle of action, such as talking with friends or playing the guitar.

今年の始めの頃、グローブス氏は東京の地下鉄でも眠りに落ち、時間の前後関係を見失っている。彼はまた子供の頃金縛りを経験したこともある。しかり眠りの研究者達は、会話やギターを弾いている真っ最中に眠りに落ちることと、金縛りとの間に明白な関係性があるかどうかは未だに確かめられずにいる。

Groves’ friend Shoko Hachiya says, “my little brother Shoto used to fall asleep while he was eating. My parents thought it was hilarious. They filmed it too. It was so cute.” Shoto Hachiya, now 23-year-old, says sometimes he still gets a little bit sleepy when he is eating.

グローブス氏の友人である蜂谷翔子は「私の弟は昔よく食べ物を食べながら眠り込んでいました。私の両親はそれをおもしろがってビデオに撮っていました。かわいかったですねあれは」と言う。現在23歳の蜂谷翔音は、未だに食べている時に眠くなることがある、と語る。

Groves and Ellis both live in Escondido California, and they are both musicians. Groves has a music project called The Sound Grove. Ellis has many music projects going on such as Astra, Brian Ellis Group and Birdzilla so he can constantly play music. Astra has a European tour coming up in April. Scientists haven’t been able to prove a correlation between being a musician and falling-asleep-in-the middle-of-something-syndrome either.

グローブス氏とエリス氏は二人ともカリフォルニアのエスコンディードに住んでいて、二人ともミュージシャンだという事実がある。グローブス氏はザ・サウンド・グローブという音楽プロジェクトを進行中。エリス氏もアストラ、ブライアン・エリス・グループ、バージラ、など、常に音楽をやれるように、たくさんのプロジェクトを進めている。アストラは4月にヨーロッパでのツアーを控えている。科学者達はミュージシャンであることと、何かをやっている真っ最中に眠りに落ちる症候群との間に相互関係があるかどうかも証明できずにいる。

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March 14, 2013

Japan’s Prime Minister Abe Tells Its Citizens To “Shut The Fuck Up And Forget About Fukushima” 浮かれ気分の安倍首相、英語で市民を罵倒

March 14th, 2013- Tokyo, Japan

On March 14th, Japanese Prime Minister Abe, famous for not taking care of citizens after the 3.11 triple disaster and continuing wasting tax money to resume promoting very unpopular nuclear industry, told no more nukes protesters gathered around the Prime Minister’s residence, “Shut the fuck up! Forget about Fukushima!” in English. Mr. Abe who has been in a buoyant mood since the Japan-U.S. summit, has also been making delusional comments such as “I had good chemistry with Mr. Obama,” even though the summit was only a formality. If TPP (Trans Pacific Partnership), one of the topics of the summit, becomes the reality, it will assure further corruption of democracy. Prime Minister Abe also commented with his creepy smile, “We have major corporations and the nuclear industry to take care of. Economy is the priority. Did you forget the Samurai spirit? Sometimes you have to die for the country!” as if it is still WWII.

地震・津波・福島原発事故のトリプルディザスター以降、国民の安全を二の次にし、国民に指示されていない原子力産業を国民の税金で再び立て直そうとするという愚行で有名になった日本政府の安倍首相は14日、首相官邸前に集まったプロテスター達に対して、英語で「シャット・ザ・ファック・アップ!フォーゲット・アバウト・フクシマ!」と叫び市民を罵倒した。安倍首相には先日のオバマ大統領との会談以来、会談は形式的なものに過ぎなかったにも関わらず、「オバマ氏とケミストリーが合った」などという浮かれた発言が目立つ。首脳会談でのトピックの一つであったTPP (Trans Pacific Partnership) が実現すれば、民主主義の堕落は更に決定的になる。さらに首相は気味の悪い笑顔を浮かべ、「日本は大企業と原子力産業をサポートし、経済を優先しなければいけない。侍魂を忘れたのか?日本国民は時には国の為に死を覚悟しなければいけない」とまるで戦時中のような発言をした。

January 31, 2013

Purple//Image Trancends To A Super Saiyan

January 30th, 2013 -San Diego

Purple//Image, Alex Gray from Sun Araw, demolished walls, floor, ceiling, bottles of liquor with a single sampler at the venue he played last night. When he screamed, “My girlfriend just broke up with me!!!!!” in a brief silent moment between demolishing loud sound he was projecting, he transcended to a super Saiyan.

An expert says that sometimes strong emotional reaction brings out the human strength in unexplainable high level. When Goku transcended to a super Saiyan, the situation involved a death of his great friend Kuririn. “I think a similar emotional reaction happened to  Purple//Image during his set.”

Audience experienced a very untypical musical experience during the set. “It felt like I was an astronaut clinging to my seat waiting for the space shuttle to finally reach the space for like 30 minutes. It was like future of music. I was in an awe.” Jamaal Clarke said.

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http://sunaraw.bandcamp.com/

January 23, 2013

Hostel Takeover Helps Downtown To Be A Less Sucky Place To Hang Out For Artists

January 23rd, 2013 -San Diego

IMG_7181 Photo: a painting by Chris Vannoy

A growing art event Hostel Takeover at Hostelling International Downtown San Diego (521 Market Street) has been helping downtown San Diego to be a less sucky place to hang out for local artists. Hostel Takeover has succeeded in not only bringing fresh local art in the area of town that never represented San Diego’s local culture but also bringing local artists who always avoided shopping malls and out-of-touch-with-reality douche bags.

Unfortunately downtown San Diego is known as a place where douche bags hang out. Daniel K. Sellers,  a professor of sociology at University of California San Diego, points out that downtown San Diego has many elements that attract people who are unconsciously trying very hard to look like or act like people from mainstream media. Because they spend so much mental energy trying to conform and assimilate themselves into their perfect image that was planted by mainstream media to enhance the consumption.  They tend to be very delusional, poor at communication, easily manipulated, and having small capacity to interact with new things or concepts. What they do is opposite of what artists do. One of the artists who participated in the event said, “People walk around downtown look like wandering souls without purpose. Looking at hundreds of girls in identical black dress and ugly high heels going to shitty mega clubs makes me so sad. Also someone should tell them a difference between dance moves and humping.”

One of the great things Hostel Takeover offers to artists is an adorable national and international audience. During the last Hostel Takeover on Jan 20th, cute and curious travelers and artists and their friends enjoyed the night together. A surprise of the night was a coincidental guest Haruki Murakami. Mr. Murakami was traveling to write a travel journal with his cameraman Matsumoto. They happened to be staying at room 310 of the hostel. He bought 2 cases of Italian wine for everyone and greatly encouraged traveling, dreaming and always being on the side of eggs not the wall.

(Below are some photos of the art works displayed at the hostel)

January 20, 2013

A Boy Get Stolen From A Painting

January 19th, 2013 -San Diego

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Photo (a kidnapped boy, looking at raindrops through the window at his house)

A boy got stolen from a painting of San Diego based artist Shoko Hachiya. Kidnapping happened sometime between Dec 11th- Jan 8th while the painting with a boy (6 x 6 mixed medium) was displayed along with her other works at a local venue.

Police are investigating the case. However the investigation has been very difficult since the boy has no name, no personal records on any documents, in fact he is not an American. Since he is not a legal citizen, police suspects that he may be a terrorist or spy.

An expert says that people who steal art works are usually not the ones who enjoy art, but they understand that some people buy them. Sometimes they steal for mere excitement. Thieves usually have internal struggles such as boredom, apathy, obesity and low self-esteem. “Personally I think stealing art from museums is pretty bad-ass, but stealing art from local no-name artists is just lame. There are difference. Shoplifting from corporations that abuse modern-day slaves holds a sense of “taking something back.” But again, stealing things like local art doesn’t do any social justice,” he added.

Miss. Hachiya says, “Maybe he didn’t  even get stolen. He got bored looking at raindrops way too long so decided to leave or something. Next time I should try to animate him so he can move around in the frame at least.” But she plans to cast a spell of obesity and bad teeth at the thief if she ever finds out that someone actually did steal the boy. If the thief has a pre-existing condition of obesity and bad teeth, she’ll put the thief in front of the Shell’s front-line drilling team in Antarctica to prevent Shell from drilling and devastating the environment again. The boy really liked polar-bears and penguins, she says.

A good news is there is a witness of the boy. Ann Hemingway (29) says she saw the boy at a pond in San Diego State University. Apparently he was hanging out with turtles and fish at the pond. He also had a small boat and a binocular.

If you see the boy, please contact Eagles Nest Productions. The boy disappeared in the middle of producing their new short film starring the boy.

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The boy at the pond (photo taken by Miss Hemingway)