プラスチックのプチプチ The Bubble Wrap


When I woke up on Friday morning, the bubble wrap was filling up inside my head. Yes, that plastic bubble wrap used when people mail something fragile. Yes, that bubble wrap everyone, kids and adults, enjoy twisting and popping. I end up spending all day when the bubble wrap fills up my head.

やれやれまたこの日が来たか、と思いながら私は柔らかい泥の中から起き上がるみたいにベッドから起き上がる。そしてAlbert Hammond.Jr. の音楽をかけ、服を着替える。Albert Hammond. Jr.は今何をしているんだろう?私は時々会ったこともない人達の生活について想像する。彼の人生も、私の人生と同じように、頭の中にいっぱいに詰まったプラスチックのプチプチを潰すのに丸一日を費やさないといけないような日々をかかえているはずだ。そういう日が彼の人生を訪れるとき、Albert Hammond. Jr. はどう対処するんだろう? ”I’m not gonna change till I want to,” Albert Hammond. Jr. は歌った。

Good grief, this day again, I tiresomely think and get up from my bed like getting up from soft mud. I play Albert Hammond Jr.’s music and change my clothes. What is Albert Hammond Jr. doing right now? Sometimes I imagine lives of people I have never met. Like my life, his life has to contain days he has to spend all day long popping bubble wrap filled inside his head. How does he deal with it when that kind of day arrives to his life? “I’m not gonna change till I want to,” Albert Hammond Jr. sang.

“I’m not gonna change till I want to.” 「変わりたくなるまで僕は変わらない」


I understand that feeling, but certain kinds of changes are inevitable. And external factors are often causing the seemingly spontaneous changes.


But if I had freedom to make choices, when, where, why and who would I going to change with?


Certain kind of change brings chain-reaction like dramatic change. Socially speaking, discovery of crude oil, development of education, excavation of diamonds, invasion by foreign country, invention of steam engine, drop of atomic bomb, development of tourism industry, development of advanced capitalism, development of media. And there always merit and demerit.


In personal level, changing an internal attitude toward just one person, or how to treat just that one person might lead to the change of your attitude toward all the other people. People you spend your time with, things you support or not support, what eat and what you don’t eat might change when you choose particular thoughts, philosophy or religion. If you try to be nice to everyone equally, you cannot be mean to particular person (and they are often close to you.) If you seek an integrated logic, consistency.


My very small personal life is approaching the time of realistic change slowly but steadily. I’m going to graduate from a University this winter. And I will be free from the frames of college life like class schedules, required courses, 5 paragraph essays, and I temporally will be in a completely free state. I think of the actions I should take when I’m there, direction I should take, the places I should be and people I should spend time with and influence each other.
And I think about the results and possibilities being brought by my decisions.


What I know now, which is what I didn’t know before, is that the world is the place without limit, and I also have complete freedom about what I do there. I’m not sure if the word “without limit”, such a cosmic-like description, is the right way to describe it. But it crosses my mind when I try to choose something.


But before I realize, my brain boils down to nothing when I think about that kind of unlimited possibilities. Seemingly fine and ambitious state of mind turns into a mere over-thinking. I end up not being able to focus on what’s in front of me, feeling like I’m sitting in a transparent and dark glass case, being unable to recognize what is happening right in front of me, and my own voice sounds strange and I stutter badly if I try to speak.


And when I wake up Friday morning, after I repeat such things over and over and over again in my little head, I find myself in the situation like the plastic bubble wrap densely filling up my head. And I end up spending all day popping the plastic bubble wrap in a very nice sunny day.


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